You  Are Not Alone……We hear wonderful stories of families working to care for their loved ones.   So we would like to let you know that when the going gets tough and you feel isolated and overwhelmed…You Are Not Alone! 

My sister and i know that its just a matter of time before we have to find a place for our mom, right now she is alright at home. I do shopping for her and take her out and she is here every weekend, but i see her steadily declining.  We did finally take her car away, her doctor kept telling us she definitely should not be driving shes 85 and after she got lost going just a few blocks away it was apparent that we had to just stand our ground and take her keys away, she was absolutely furious at us but finally she has accepted it. i will keep you posted but i wanted to say how much your kindness is appreciated.  God Bless You!  Joan

It's been a really hectic couple of months for me!  My dad has been dealing with quite a few health issues.  Right now, physically he is doing better, but his depression seems to have worsened and I am considering taking him to a psychiatrist for evaluation. There is a history of depression in out family, but this seems to be so much more than simple depression.   He also is scheduled to have outpatient prostate surgery , so I probably wouldn't be able to do anything before then.  Right now he is staying with my husband and I, it seems that I am the sibling he is most comfortable with.  Also, my daughter gave birth to her second child last weekend and I have been trying to help her out . Dad has been staying here with my husband, but he spends a lot of time in bed when I'm not here. Needless to say, it is somewhat stressful right now.   I was able to visit two assisted living communities before everything got so complicated.  I was impressed with both places and have been wanting to visit others, but, under the circumstances, just have not had the time. I've received a lot of information in the mail and a lot of emails, and hope to eventually bring Dad to visit some of them with me. I will try to keep you up to date with what's going on.
Thank you for your caring and concern.  Regards,  Nancy

Thanks Carol. We have some places nearby that we plan to visit. Just a matter of making an appointment. I want to call social services at Hunterdon Medical Center and see if they can help. She doesn't need someone to  sit and hold her hand, but overseeing medicine, etc. We encourage using a cane because she has lost her balance on occasion, but she yeses us to death and we know she's not. She's not incapacitated, but needs overseeing like when you were child and your parents were there for you. They say that you revert to being a child again as you get older. We are now the parent and she the child.  Do I sound frustrated? If my husband had a sibling it would help. He knows the situation won't go away. It's getting worse. I'm just afraid something dire will happen before she is in assisted living.  Enough! Thanks for listening!  Mrs. M

Sorry for the lack of correspondence. We have had calls and literature sent to us, which is appreciated. My husbands mom has became sick before Christmas with cellulites in her leg. Both legs very swollen. She then had allergic reaction to antibiotic. Along with this she had a lot of teeth removed in October and fitted for dentures which she had a lot of trouble inserting and taking out. We are still dealing with swollen legs, thus having to have an echo cardiogram and a CAT scan. There hasn't been much time to visit any of these places, but next Mon. going to talk with an elder care advisor which a neighbor recommended.  She really shouldn't be alone, but someone comes in couple times a week and we go out . Hopefully we can get her in a place closer to us and SOON.  Thanks for checking in.  Bev M

Thanks for checking in,  I am really aware of how difficult this is going to be with her limited income. After nursing all these years I certainly knew the challenges that adult children face when it is at this point. That said, I absolutely begged her (mom) never to have me face these circumstances. She would NEVER listen. She would never believe that it would get to this point. So many times I left Tampa knowing it would end this way. It is quicksand. Unless you are very smart and plan or lucky, medicine will keep you way beyond what you stash away.  I have done so much to do right by her. She has always have primo medical care and interventions. Now I am second guessing myself.  You should edit a book that allows for insight into the truly "sandwich--ed" generation. I have a teenager that in the past year managed to go to "wilderness therapy" and is now doing out pt. rehab. This lovely compassionate child of mine is a wonder and I would have never let her fall. She and my mom have a bound that is stronger then superglue  I know my daughter would never want to think she has added to my issues about mom, but the amount of resources I have spent for my daughter in the past year would have made this process just a tad less stressful. I am sorry for venting to you. I am hoping we will find a decent place for mom. Please keep us in mind for anything that you might think would fit our situation.  Thanks again,  Jacquelyn 

I would like to thank you for all your contacts and information.  I was touring one of the assistant living homes today.  Unfortunately, due to a fall, my friend landed up in the hospital on Sunday.  She was lucky because nothing was broken.  I did find out today, that my friend Mary "has lost it".  She is no longer able to go into an assistant living home - she must go into a nursing home.  When I left the hospital today, I left with tears because she was very abusive to me - where I am the ONLY friend she has.  Right now I feel like "throwing in the towel" - I really don't know what to do with this woman.  HELP!  Ms. H

I am letting you know that I have contacted a Dr in Toms River about my mother I have to go there- this is going to be chore. She is getting very unruly and it has to be done. I have a priest friend that will help us with this the last month has been a nightmare – this doctor is a neurologist. I am at my wits end my father is going to take care of some other things- I do not know what else to do she has to be committed its getting out of hand. Diana

Thank you for making yourself available and for your offer of assistance.  After a series of unfortunate events and trips in and out of the hospital and rehab my father passed away on March 28th.  Ultimately we learned the original stroke diagnosis was incorrect and he was suffering from Stage IV brain cancer.  Thankfully we were able to be with him to the end and he is not suffering anymore.  He is missed so very much, but it was time for him to rest.   Thank you again for being so diligent and caring.  We truly appreciate it.  Warm regards,  Karen